what on earth am i here for?

If you have read or atleast have seen the cover of Rick Warren's "The Purpose Driven Life", this line would be oh-so familiar. Actually even if you haven't done so, the line is probably familiar anyway... maybe because we all had atleast one chance to ask ourselves that.

This is the 3rd time someone in our family received a copy of the book. Still, I never had the chance to check it out until this afternoon (while I was watching Spiderman 2 on HBO).

As was advised in the book, I read the first chapter and then stopped to reflect. But then I couldn't help myself and I read the second chapter too... (even if I was supposed to "get more from the book" by reading one chapter per day for 40 days). Justification: I was stumped at the first chapter and needed the second one to anchor me somewhere...

chapter 1, day 1
The first line caught me red-handed.

It's not about you. Oh.

It's not about me. But my point of departure has always been myself and my experiences. Look at this me-me-me blog for instance.

Now you see how I was stumped while reading chapter 1? I am admittedly and obviously focusing on myself. I am somewhat lost.

But before you get stumped like I was, there is more to it than just removing the focus from one's self... At the beginning of the chapter, there were two quotes. I especially liked the second line because it acknowledges and respects diversity in faith:

Unless you assume a God,
the question of life's purpose is meaningless.
- Bertrand Russel, atheist

chapter 2, supposedly day 2
The first line made me smile.

You are not an accident. Ah.

I always thought I wasn't.

God doesn't play dice.
- Albert Einstein

~ o O o ~

I think I'll be spending the rest of the day pondering on these some more. I just realized that I'm not super comfortable sharing each and every detail of my reflections here so that's it for today, guys.

June 29, 2006, Thursday
I spent the day inside the library surrounded by books. And I actually loved it. Quiet. Still. Calm. (I can now hear a nerd-siren coming my way...) More often than not, while I'm surrounded by old books, my mind keeps on wandering off. (I can hear the nerd-siren fade in the background...)

My mind has always been like a little butterfly fluttering around outside the premises of a big garden.

And this afternoon was no exception. Where did it go? Hmm, different places in the near (and far) future...

I thought about my old dream of putting up a preschool with sunlight pouring in through the windows and children laughing, of becoming a writer and living in a faraway place, of travelling the islands and providing education to those who need it most, and of other absurd things that I've forgotten about which comprised majority of my daydreaming.

Wait, I did think about Chapter 1 until Chapter 3 of Rick Warren's book. Yes, we're still focusing on this...

Chapter 3, definitely day 3

What drives your life?

What drives my life?

Before I answer this, I think I shall go back to chapter 1. The reason why I couldn't move much from there was that because I thought I was supposed to COMPLETELY exclude myself when it said "it's not about you". But then, I realized that the book didn't mean to negate the whole me. It just wanted to clarify that one's purpose is more than one's personal dreams, aspirations, and goals. In the end then, it is letting God's hand guide us throughout our life and be driven by Him. As with most cases, it is easier said than done. There would be sacrifices and hardships along the way but I guess life is really like that.

I don't think it will be easy. na-ah. But I think it will be a beautiful journey that all of us have to take. So let us all try to have that. A purpose driven life.

And yes, I'll continue reading the book but this is probably the last entry about it. The rest will be more private reflections.