pulling a hat out of a rabbit

Just so I won't leave an empty January, I thought of writing down (typing) my random thoughts.

Have you ever crammed anything in your life? My use of "cram" in this context is different from "procrastinate". What I mean is when you set out to do so many things without much time and you still finish all of them. Think of crammed sardines in a can. They all fit in such small space.

Have you crammed anything in your life? Whether for school (why is it that it's always for school?), work, or just crammed some personal plans... I am guilty of doing it at times. I remember a friend telling me that I work well under pressure. Extreme pressure.

It has something to do with our training as Theresians back in grade school and high school. We made quilts, studied Physics, Trigonometry, learned gymnastics, wrote essays in both English and Filipino, composed graduation songs, learned basic computer programming, attended student council meetings, and finished all those in our last quarter of senior year. There's the thrill of finishing things on time, no matter how many they are. I remember those nine subjects a day with a 20-minute recess and a 40-minute lunch break. I think the schedule made us more organized. We grew dependent on that bell or that gong in the morning.

Now that I'm older, with no bells to remind me of the time, I have to be organized on my own. There are more responsibilities and they don't have anything to do with quilting or quizzes. I no longer have to sit in my classroom from 7:30 until 4pm and wait for the next subject teacher to come in. I have time in my hands and how I would use that time solely depends on me. At the age of 23, I'm not part of the 9-5 offices or the 10-6. I'm just doing things in my own time (for now).

When I cram, there used to be a thrill in the end whether I'd finish things or not. Because more often than not, I finish things and I feel triumphant when that happens. But maybe I'm just growing older now because I no longer feel much thrill in not knowing the end. There's a nagging part of me that wants to know if I would truly finish things on time.

For this semester and for the coming last school year of M.A. THESIS for me (*hopefully*), I would have to learn how to pull a rabbit out of a hat. Or as a kid once told me, it would be more difficult to pull a hat out of a rabbit. I think I'd challenge myself to do that.