the truth about daddy

I just came home from a wake. My 5-year-old student's daddy passed away yesterday. I feel guilty for complaining about different things in my life while here comes a 5-year-old who will have to cope with something that I, myself, am not ready for at the age of 24.

At the age of five, he would already have a major turning point in life. I am certain that it would someday make him a stronger person. But tonight and for the coming days, we can never take away the fact that HE IS A CHILD. He will grieve. He will ask questions. He will miss and look for his daddy. He will feel intense emotions that he probably has never felt before. And he will have to cope with all that.

While I was online earlier this morning, I looked for articles on helping kids deal with death. I read one about how to help a child cope with his grandfather's death. One of the tips provided was to let the child spend more time with his dad (as he is the one closest to the image of the grandfather). Another tip was to make the child understand the life cycle -- aging and death being natural parts of life. These things are of course easier said than done.

How do you exactly tell a child that it's his daddy who's no longer coming back? How do you answer all his questions? The only answer is the TRUTH. One of the greatest things about the truth is that it's consistent without even trying. It's always easier to cope with things that are consistent rather than with invented events that change every time.

They didn't tell him yet that his daddy passed away. Not today. Not on Father's Day. He wrote on a yellow art paper "Happy Father's Day. I love you" and drew a robot on a separate sheet for daddy. These things, he did beyond the assigned Father's Day activity I gave him in class. His artworks were placed on the coffin but he still hasn't seen them there.

We'll take it from here, one day at a time.