The Power of Conversation

A few hours ago, I was writing with a hint of sadness. Let's just say I saw the kind of life that I'd be living starting June. And June is a week away.

Since my sisters will all be out of the house by then and with my brother getting married soon, I'd be living the life of an only child. Coming from a big family like mine, I'm used to coming home with lots of people to converse and laugh with. Seriously. And we'd usually have one or two friends over like adopted sisters as if we're not that plenty enough ;)

But after having dinner with my dad and talking about plans, I felt a little better.

After dinner, I didn't feel the sadness anymore as I heard parts of the news on television. Maybe I really like to hear words in the background. Words calm me when I feel agitated. Or maybe it's because I knew a family member was also home with me and I wasn't alone anymore.

And then I talked to Franco over the phone and I told him about all these. He was so practical and grounded in reminding me about this fact of life -- Children grow up and they move out, which of course I know by heart as a Developmental Psychologist. He just made it sound so simple and factual as compared to my feely-touchy-emo moment. I think his approach worked.

Because right now, I've accepted the fact that I'm in Transition. I know we always are and we just don't notice those small increments of change... But this particular kind of Transition is just so eminent that I can't ignore it.

With my family members being far away at the moment, I think I'm being trained how to live life physically away from them. There will come a point that I'd have to be far away after twenty plus years of constantly being with them. But I guess after my conversation with Franco, I just feel thankful that I found a person who I'm willing to do that for.

After more than five years of being together, Franco and I can still be like high school kids yapping over the phone for hours almost everyday. Actually around 30 minutes on the average. Tonight I think we reached an hour of real conversation. We've been pushing each other farther than where we are right now. We're from two very different fields and I like it that way because I'm a person who needs variation. Let's just say I'm learning a lot about businesses, the corporate world, and well, the rest of the world. And he's learning about all these hobbies I try, travels I plan, and living life with passion. I also like the fact that because of him, I'm being challenged about the things that I could do. Stretch things out even more because we all of us can do so much more. And I like the idea of being able to support another person for the dreams he's pursuing and seeing his big dreams come into fruition.

Prior to this, one of David Cook's songs has been playing in my head and I just realized now how apt it is. (I'm inserting David Cook here as I have not yet blogged about him when in fact he played a role for me this summer. I watched AI weekly and the finale was the culmination of my summer. Even the rains increased after the finale. I've been Cook's silent fan, getting myself ready to watch his future concerts and ready to download all his songs after the competition. I didn't care about Simon's comment about "Archuleta's knockout" because for me, David Cook was the one. Apparently, everyone else thought the same thing. Bravo, Cook! The only downside is that his future concert will probably be even more expensive.)

Anyway, I'm quoting David Cook's second song in the season finale: "Cause if you don't DREAM BIG, what's the use of dreaming?"

Franco and I are both dreaming big. He's dreaming bigger. I'm dreaming wider. I think that's a good combo. He has been focused for the past months, something I've been really proud of. And last Friday, he reached his first goal and I'd say BRAVO to that! He's now taking the next step to his big dream. And that simply inspires me to go on my with my own steps.

I've said goodbye to friends so many times each time they leave the country to live on foreign land or to study further. With the high level of empathy innately programmed in my body, I think I've imagined enough how it is for each of them to leave family, friends, loved ones, or simply old comfortable ways behind. Their strength comes from the excitement, the adventure, new people, new friends, and new loves.

Despite all the empathy I mustered during those times, I still couldn't really know how that exactly feels because I haven't really left home for more than two weeks. For 25 years, I haven't even changed residence ever. Not even once except when our house was renovated and we moved to my lola's house for a few months, which was a block away from our place, so I don't really consider that. What more to leave all the familiar people, places, structure, and culture that have been part of who I've become?

But there's proper time for all that moving. I have several years to prepare for my turn and just like when I started this blog, I'll be embracing that experience when the time comes. Before then, it's back to my goals here. They're clearer and better lined up. They're steps to reach the bigger dream. And then come home again.

See how powerful one good conversation could be?
It can move you. Sometimes, literally.