Gratefully Moved

Last Thursday, December 11, 2008, I had the privilege to conduct a seminar-workshop on Personality Development for the Grade 4 students of my alma mater, St. Theresa’s College, QC. When I first accepted the post of leading them into a journey of Personality Development, I instantly thought of the points that I wanted to share with them. Primarily, I came out with a foundation of the self and as you could guess, a focus on positive-self concept. Eventually the content of the seminar bloomed into something bigger than what I originally planned and ended with an important note on Humility.






The students asked me wonderful and challenging questions during open forum that made me reflect on what I’ve been doing for the past 25 years of my life. Being 15 years older than they were, I could see their awe and enthusiasm about the things I’ve accomplished so far, which I have mostly taken for granted. And for whatever confusion or sadness that I have been feeling recently, I just felt all of them vanish because life after all has to be lived with awe, wonder, and enthusiasm despite not having all the answers at a particular point in time.







I like absorbing the wonder that children naturally possess. Maybe that’s why I choose to be constantly surrounded by them even after semi-retirement from preschool teaching. Whether they’re toddlers, in middle childhood, or in adolescence, I always learn something new and refreshing from younger people.

Sometimes they lead me back to myself, both my present and my past self. When I was ten years old, just like them, I was just beginning to bloom and was letting go of my very timid and shy self.

And this was why I was impressed with the Grade 4 students who answered some of my questions in front of the entire batch or those who posed some questions for me during open forum. Honestly, at that age, I was not the type who would talk in front of a large crowd because I was scared of committing a mistake. Back then, my teachers would notice me because of my written works but not because of recitation. When I began to feel encouraged by teachers, family, and friends, (mind you, I was still afraid of committing a mistake at the back of my head then), that was when I began to excel.

Slowly, I let go of my timidity. Leadership training for class officers and being surrounded by my grade school friends who until now are my really good friends helped me as well. But of course there were moments when I still felt shy and timid inside. I just had to overcome it every time there was a need to face crowds or to speak in front of a large sum of people.

Fifteen years later, there I was, standing in front of eager faces, new teachers, and even my very own grade school Art teacher, and sharing to them a subject matter that is very important to the development of ten-year-old girls. Right then and there, I was reminded how I developed into who I am now. It was in a way a form of fulfillment for the motto instilled in us as Theresians, “Let your light shine and be a blessing.”




At that point in time, the multiplicity of things that I’ve been doing for the past years, finally integrated into a unifying whole. And these children made me realize that I am doing something great in this lifetime. If at least one child remembered some of the points I taught that day, then I would be content. My goal was simple: To catalyze something and to move someone by tapping into her inner core and letting the real her come out and bloom.

After the seminar-workshop, it was I who felt nourished. How true it is that after sharing, more things come back to the person who shared. As the Grade 4 Guidance Counselor, Mrs. Cesca Amurao-Tolentino, did tell me prior to that day, the blessing would return ten-fold. I think that what I felt afterward was more than ten-fold of a blessing. I felt it was 352-fold as presumably 352 students participated and each one of them who listened intently and participated gave me a new sense of fulfillment.

My ability to answer a series of difficult questions was put to the test. I think what made some of the questions difficult for me was because they were the kind of questions I didn’t really thought about much but should have been obvious to me. But since I haven't really thought of these things, I had to dig my mind for answers. In the end, I opted to simply stick to the most honest answers I could give at that point.

Basically, I was stumped by "what is your biggest achievement?", which I apologized for and asked if I could just cite the most recent achievement or the one I remember the most. Fortunately, the student who asked me that question was flexible and she allowed me to elaborate on an achievement that I remembered easily as I have not really thought about the "greatest". (Or maybe I don't really rate achievements into levels.) I told her it was when I witnessed my students from last year transform from learning the alphabet into learning how to read books. It was a simple achievement but I am certain that it would lead to greater things for these children.

And then there was the question of what was the biggest challenge that I had to overcome. I candidly said that her question was a challenge for me in itself but I did seriously answer her that I am facing the biggest challenge at present time and still overcoming it, which referred to my thesis and all other personal issues at this age that sort of stall me to reach that goal. I elaborated on it by citing their “book report” as an example so they would grasp what I was talking about with my thesis and it seemed to have worked. (A thesis requires a person to read a whole lot of books instead of just one and to make a much thicker report. Plus adding that when you grow older, you face other circumstances that distract you as well in finishing the goal.) And then there were probably 10-15 other questions, which were easier to answer for me, but still tested my mental faculties. It was challenging to make impromptu answers that were both honest and sufficient but hopefully I was able to give them those.



At the end of my seminar, I shared with them my favorite quote that came from my Physics teacher in high school, Miss Zeng Lebron. It was something she wrote at the back of my senior high school class picture. I deem it applicable to all individuals because we are all given a kind of beauty and intelligence unique to ourselves. She wrote, “You are blessed with beauty, intelligence, and humility. Among the three, humility will bring you success.”

As I reiterated on humility that afternoon, I felt reminded of it myself. And when the principal, Mrs. Gloria Cruz, began to talk, I found myself listening again like a young student who was also learning something new. I was truly humbled by the entire experience.

It’s true however, that I felt overwhelmed and physically exhausted after the workshop. As soon as I reached home, I fell asleep for two hours. Upon waking up, I felt not just physically recharged but also much in tuned with whom I became, excited for who I can still become, and accepting of who I am now.

Whether I moved the students or not is something I would not be so certain of. But what I know for a fact is they all moved me. And that is something I will always be grateful for.