everything comes back

When we lose things, whether simple or not, inexpensive ones or the priceless kind, we first think that they will come back somehow. But after some time, when they don't come back, we start to think... was it just denial that we were experiencing at the start?

Denial is that feeling that saves us from feeling low. When denial fades in the background, we begin to feel angry.

That's how I felt earlier. Angry. Anger addressed to noone in particular. Actually, to myself for my carelessness. I just felt angry at myself then I felt sad.

I was in denial for more than a week while searching everywhere possible and asking everyone I know who could have possibly seen it. But there was still no trace of it. The next stages of "grief", I all felt in one day. There wasn't any bargaining involved in between anger and sadness though. I was just sad.

This post is about my trusty 10-month-old Canon Ixus 65 and all the priceless photos in its memory card. The last time I used and saw it was last Thursday, August 30.

My friends know how happy I was when I decided to purchase my camera. It was something I bought with my hard-earned money last year. Within this past week, I heard some people telling me to buy another one but really, I don't want to and more importantly, I can't because it's not on top of my list right now. I don't buy things by whim because I can't. I plan when I buy because I am more kuripot than most people think.

So looking back, I worked hard for my camera, planned on getting it by canvassing around, and bought it when it was time to do so. It was one of the few things that I could proudly call mine because it was not merely handed to me by my parents or by anyone else as a gift. And because of that, it has turned priceless for me, along with the photos inside it.

I did not mean to write such a long post on this one. But I'm human and this is how I truly feel. I may sometimes sound like I'm joking or may still be smiling when I say that I couldn't find my camera, but today, I just felt this. And I just had to share.

I believe that people are naturally kind-hearted. I'd like to believe that if someone finds something that is not his or hers, that person would return that something to the rightful owner. I'd like to believe that in this world, kind-hearted and honest people exist. And that's why I
believe the things we lose just come back somehow.

My sister woke me up from my dreamy state when she told me that my camera was filled with my photos. If someone had already seen it, he/she would have returned it by now especially because the places where it could have possibly fell off were places with people I know. And that of course comes along with the "realistic assumption" that by this time, someone was bound to have seen it.

After thinking some more, I came out with this: Either nobody has seen it yet or someone has seen it but doesn't know what to do or where to return. If not those two, there may be persons who are not necessarily bad but may just be needing something for a short while but because they originally still have a good heart, they return what they find when they're ready to do so. And if it's still not any of those, maybe a spirit did play with it, and I hope he/she returns it to me.

To whoever finds and returns what I am looking for, my deepest gratitude in advance.

This is my way of asking the universe. And my way of affirming that good things come to those who believe.